Think about someone you work with regularly. You probably know their title, what they’re responsible for, and who to contact when they’re out. You may know how long they’ve been with the organization and whether they’re the person everyone turns to when something needs to get done. But if someone asked you to describe that person without mentioning their job, what would you say?
In my last blog, I asked whether we are training for the job description—and for the person. I want to stay with that question a little longer. Because before we talk about what training the person looks like, we need to consider who we’re actually trying to equip. How much of what we know about someone comes from what they produce, solve, organize, or manage for us?
Imagine a dependable employee who has become quieter lately. Their work is still getting done, but they seem distracted in meetings. One afternoon, they respond sharply to a question that wouldn’t ordinarily bother them. It would be easy to describe what we see: disengaged, impatient, having an attitude. Those descriptions might make their way into a conversation about performance before anyone asks what has changed.
There could be any number of things happening. They might be helping a parent who can no longer manage alone. They might be waiting for news they don’t know how to prepare for. Perhaps there are conflicting expectations at work, and they’ve been trying to satisfy everyone without admitting that something has to give. We cannot know by looking, and we should be careful about deciding that we do.
We also shouldn’t assume that the person behind the position is defined by what’s difficult in their life. That same employee may be the one who organizes everything for their family, helps neighbors solve problems, or has learned to adapt through circumstances their colleagues know nothing about. People bring resourcefulness, creativity, determination, and experience into the workplace, too. Sometimes we notice those strengths only when they make our jobs easier.
Throughout my years in addiction-recovery services, including my work at Indiana Women’s Prison, the relationship between information and application was central to my work. Later, after my mother’s death, that relationship became deeply personal. I had knowledge and professional experience, but I still needed practical ways to work with what I knew when I was the one hurting. The EMBRACE Model™ grew from that need in my own life.
That experience is part of why I keep coming back to the person. We can explain an expectation clearly and still leave someone needing help with how to meet it when life becomes complicated. We can teach a procedure without teaching someone how to ask for clarification, recognize when they’re overwhelmed, or navigate a difficult conversation before it becomes a bigger problem.
So what might training the person look like?
Let’s return to that dependable employee. Suppose two people have given them urgent assignments, both expecting their work to come first. The employee knows how to complete each task. What they may need is practice recognizing the conflict, checking what is realistically possible, and saying, “I can complete this today, but I need help deciding which takes priority.” That is a practical skill. It gives the employee a way to speak up and gives the organization information it needs to make a decision.
Or consider someone who gets defensive when receiving feedback. Telling them to “be more receptive” names an expectation, but it doesn’t give them much to use in the moment. There is room to practice pausing, listening for the specific concern, asking a question, and returning to the conversation if they need time to think. Those are skills a person can carry into a team meeting, a conversation with a partner, or an exchange with their teenager.
This is where I see an opportunity for the EMBRACE Model™ and the 6 P’s of Personal Growth™. They give people a framework they can return to when they need to understand what’s happening and choose an intentional next step. In one situation, that might begin with Pause and Pinpoint. In another, someone may need to recognize what they are already doing well and Maintain it. We don’t always need to start over. Sometimes we need to identify what is helping us and learn how to use it more intentionally.
For an organization, teaching these skills could mean working through realistic situations together, allowing people to practice a response, and making time to reflect on what happened when they tried it. A presentation can introduce an idea. People also need opportunities to put that idea into words and actions that fit their actual work.
The organization has a part in this, too. If we teach someone to ask for clarity, we need to be willing to clarify. If we encourage people to speak up when priorities conflict, we need to help resolve those conflicts. Training becomes more useful when the work environment gives people room to apply it.
And recognizing the whole person does not mean asking employees to share everything happening in their lives. Someone should be able to ask for support or clearer direction without giving a detailed account of a private situation. We can respect a person’s boundaries and still make room for an honest conversation about what would help them do their work.
That is where I see the benefit going both ways. The employee gains practical tools for communicating, making decisions, and navigating change. The organization has more opportunity to address confusion early, work through disagreements, and understand what people need to follow through. The usefulness of those tools doesn’t end when the workday does. Neither does the person.
Before your next team meeting or training session, think again about the person you pictured at the beginning. What strengths do you recognize in them beyond the tasks they complete? What opportunities have they had to practice the human skills their work requires? And when they ask for help, what kind of response can they expect?
We will never know every part of someone’s story. We can, however, remember that there is a story—and a capable, learning, changing person living it.
Who REALLY is the person behind the position—and how are we helping that person grow?
🪷 Beside You on the Journey,
Jan